Bladder Fright Affliction aka BFA

Many years ago I mentioned the problem of BFA effecting us males. The difficulty of standing shoulder to shoulder attempting to 'do it'. Guess what, our good friends at LG decided add to our handicap by installing crystal screens in the urinal.

The result.... 16-second 'average stage fright delay' and a failure to launch rate of 26%.

So, size matters eh?

Researchers showed over 100 women (mostly in their late 20's), 350 computer generated images of men with different body shapes, heights and penis sizes (ranging from 5-13 centimetres).

The ladies took three seconds on average to choose, with the largest penises proving most popular. Not only were the ratings higher, but the women also spent more time gazing at the generously endowed figures, a sign they preferred looking at them as opposed to figures with smaller penises?

Feeling better already, I can now ogle big boobs guilt free!

Food for thought

A friend pointed out that you get a years jail for rape and 15 years for cutting off someones beard...

Not Surprising

Sometime ago I wrote about someone who received emergency first aid from a St John Ambulance officer  and was suing and saying her treatment was unlawful assault. There was also the Alexandra Van Horn v. Lisa Torti case in California where it doesn't pay to be a Good Samaritan.

Now, we have the gall to complain that a woman in California dies after a nurse refuses to perform CPR?

Oh please!

Real Bankers?

I issued a cheque this week. For those who don't know what a cheque is, it's a piece of paper signed by me, addressed to my bank, asking them to Pay: xxx the sum of $xx. Unfortunately, the person I gave the cheque to, misplaced it.

Logged into online banking expecting to find a stop cheque function. Couldn't find one. Rang the helpdesk...

Indian: ANZ, how can I help you today?
Me: I'm looking for the on-line stop cheque function thanks.
Indian:......silence.... Let me put you through to my supervisor.
Aussie voice: ANZ, how can I help you today?
Me: I'm looking for the on-line stop cheque function thanks.
Aussie voice: ... er... You'll have to go down to the branch.
Me: Hmmmm....ok
Aussie voice: Is there anything I can help you with?
Me thinking.... Grrrrrrr!

Down at the branch
Teller: Good afternoon
Me: I'd like to put a stop payment of a cheque I issued please.
Teller...... blank look......
Me: I issued a cheque, the payee lost it and I would like to put a stop on it, thank you.
Teller...... looking round for help.......
(Ha! He was the only teller this lunchtime, barely 20, no doubt with his University degree).
Teller: Please have a seat, I'll get the Business Manager to see you.

Wait 30 minutes

Business Manager: How can I help you today?
(OK, have to admit, she's very pretty, barely 25, with her MBA)
Me: I'd like to put a stop payment on a cheque I issued please.
Business Manager: er.... let me see...
Me: Look, you'll need my bank account details, the cheque number.
Business Manager: OK 

(starts jotting down the details on her scratch pad)
Me: Will you need any other information.
Business Manager: No, that's fine. I'll see to it that this is done.

What, ask the Branch Manager when he gets back from lunch? She doesn't even have the payee details, amount, issue date and the most important, my agreement to the Stop Cheque Fee!

My rant for the day. Bankers W*nkers!